Never Ignore Your Husband
Does ignoring my husband work to teach him a lesson? Is it better to just ignore him when I’m feeling unhappy or disconnected?
In today’s video and blog, I have answers to both these questions and much more while sharing with you the 4 methods of communication which cause “active ignoring” to happen in your marriage.
By the end of this blog and video coaching session, you will understand why you should NEVER IGNORE YOUR HUSBAND.
This video and blog will be a “virtual coaching session” format which will go into detail on various life coaching concepts.
I’ll also share some ways that “ignoring” can actually strengthen communication, deepen your romance and enhance attraction.
The best place for wives to supercharge:
- Romance and
Because being an awesome wife rocks.
There are so many reasons why outwardly ignoring your husband can cause damage.
By contrast, using the art of “strategic ignoring” can also help to strengthen the bond in your marriage.
And, we’ll get into more of that later.
But before we do….
There are two different types of “IGNORING” that happens in marriage.
[Ignoring to excuse]
[Ignoring to retaliate].
Firstly, let’s discuss “ignoring to excuse”.
When you ignore to excuse, you give your partner the benefit of the doubt because maybe he just doesn’t realize the impact of what he is saying or doing has on you.
Ignoring to excuse is like giving him a “get out of jail free” card.
When you give him this freebie, it’s a “no harm no fowl” moment that you aren’t going to take offense to what was said or what happened.
You shrug it off and keep on moving.
The following is what “ignoring to excuse” creates in your relationship:
- Freedom for you both to coexist without walking on eggshells.
- Freedom for you to shrug off the potential of a disagreement due to feeling offended or taking what they did or said the wrong way.
- Freedom for him to be himself and for you to be yourself.
When there’s freedom in the relationship, communication, romance and attraction flourish.
Does ignoring to excuse work in every instance?
However, you can use this technique as a tool in your Ninja-Wife toolkit whenever you want to diffuse a potential argument that may happen.
By contrast, let’s explore [ignoring to retaliate].
When you ignore to retaliate, you use “ignoring” as a weapon to hurt your partner, retaliate or to teach him a lesson.
This form of ignoring can be damaging to your marriage.
Breaking apart the fabric of communication, romance and attraction.
The following is what “ignoring to retaliate” creates:
- Anger and resentment from the receiving party
- Feelings of isolation
- Feelings of fear and being out of control
- Distractions and decreased focus at work
- And causes him to flee towards work as an escape which creates more feelings of isolation and disconnect.
- And so much more….
Are you finding yourself ignoring your husband to retaliate more often than you would like?
- Acknowledge how you feel and truly own your feelings. No apologies and no excuses. When you own your feelings, you can create a place of healing.
- Address how you feel and what you need. He’s not wired to pick up on subtle cues. And ignoring him because he ignores you, just doesn’t work.
- The lesson you are trying to teach him will fall on deaf ears and only create more separation between you.
Using “ignoring” as a method of retaliation is considered emotional abuse.
So is giving the cold shoulder which is a more advanced level “ignoring to retaliate” tactic.
Just like gaslighting is considered emotional abuse, so is giving the cold shoulder.
The more you understand the impact this has on your partner, the better the opportunity is for you to find healthier ways to bridge the communication gap.
A few truths about “ignoring to retaliate” dressed in “cold shoulder” type behavior.
- There is unseen violence in silence.
- It’s considered passive aggressive behavior which is just as damaging as aggressive behavior.
- The bruises are longer lasting and are invisible. No one can see the scars it leaves.
- Silence is darkness to your husband.
- Your smile and happiness is what gives him joy. When you withhold the thing that brings him joy, it causes damage.
- The most violent thing you can do is to take away your smile, your laughter, vulnerability, your need for him.
- Once you take away the ability for him to be your knight in shining armor, he may lose sight of the reason he is there in the first place.
But what if he’s ignoring me?
Is he ignoring you? Get clear on this.
If the answer is a solid yes, boundaries need to be set by you in your marriage.
If you are interested in me making a video about how to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, let me know in the comment section below.
If you aren’t sure if he’s actually ignoring or not, proceed with caution because sometimes we assume things without having all the facts.
Here is a lesson about masculine energy.
- Masculine energy is singular focused.
- When he’s in his cave he is working through thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- When he isolates and goes into his cave, he has no idea you feel ignored. He’s doing his best to process his own stuff.
Does this make sense so far?
If this coaching session is resonating with you, hit the like button and let’s move on to a powerful coaching concept I want to share with you.
When we communicate, there are 4 ways we send that communication out to the person receiving it.
When you have a deeper understanding of how this work, it will help you when a conflict arises or is brewing your relationship.
The 4 Methods of Communication in Marriage are:
What you wanted to say
What you said
What they heard
What they make what they heard mean
As I share this technology with you, can you recall instances where these 4 methods may have influenced emotions and interactions?
In life coaching and in being a powerful Ninja-Wife, Self Awareness is critical for the success of your marriage.
When you choose to ignore your husband ask yourself these powerful questions:
Am I intentionally using [ignoring to retaliate] as a weapon?
What am I hoping to gain from this choice?
Is there a more empowering way I can choose to get my point across?
Can I just [ignore to excuse] right now?
What is it going to cost me to diffuse these triggering feelings?
Self awareness and true ownership of self is the first step to becoming and empowered Ninja-Wife.
That’s it! I hope you go value out of today’s virtual coaching session.
Leave a comment or question below and remember to share this video with friends and family if you think they will get value from it.