6 Common Money Arguments for Couples

6 Common Money Arguments for Couples

Are you and your husband constantly arguing about money? Are you worried that if you don’t do something soon, these arguments could come between you?

In today’s blog & video, I will be sharing the 6 common money arguments for couples and how to fix them because as you know, money is the #1 reason why marriages fail.

The truth is:

Marital arguments about money have been going on since the invention of money. 

While all arguments can take their toll, disagreements over finances can really take the passion out of your relationship. 

Studies show that money issues are #1 leading cause of divorce! 

Which is why this is an important subject to tackle.

Talking about money is uncomfortable but filing for divorce is worse!

The name of the game here is Equity. If your are curious about what I’m referring to, stick around until the end where I share this concept in more detail.

But in the meantime, when I refer to the word equity, I don’t mean equity like shares of a company or the value of your home.

The way I use equity as a concept when I’m coaching is: “Equity” as in “fairness” and being completely impartial with each other so you are both considered, honored and respected.

Let’s go ahead and get right into it so you can start to bring healing into this area of your marriage.

The following are the most common money arguments for couples and how to fix them:

Many married couples argue about:

  1. Agreeing on a budget. 

Many couples don’t even have a budget, but a budget is useful for everyone, regardless of your financial status.

HOW TO FIX IT:

Agree on a spending plan.

This budget doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated.

It can be done on graph paper or on a spread sheet.

A simple way to parse this out is to:

Have two sections:

ALL MONEY COMING IN

and 

ALL MONEY GOING OUT.

After all, if someone is outspending the budget, it’s difficult to argue about fault.

By the way:

    • It’s practically impossible to get a budget right on the first attempt. Good budgets evolve over a few months. It will take some tinkering to get it right. Be patient and make the necessary adjustments as you go along.

    • Use the information you already have. Pull out old bills and use some real numbers. Remember to consider expenses that occur less frequently than once a month. New tires, home repairs, and medical expenses are just a few ideas.

Take a look at the following graphic where I detail this out.

Screen shot this to refer to it later.

And if you want me to go into further detail on how to build a family budget like this, let me know in the comment section below. Don’t forget to hit like.

The next common money argument for couples is:

  1. Complete honesty (with their finances).

Many couples aren’t exactly sure how much money their spouse is making. 

Many more spouses are in the dark about their partner’s debt and credit history. 

These are sensitive subjects that you both may avoid.

It’s not always easy, but a full financial disclosure can prevent any miscommunication and will create more trust between you.

HOW TO FIX IT:

Get to know each other’s financial status. This will make it easier to agree on a financial plan.

This includes being honest about all spending. 

More than a few women hide clothing and shoe purchases from their spouse in the back of the closet. 

More than a few men buy tools or video games on a regular basis and sneak them into the house as well. 

Be honest.

The third common money argument for couples is:

  1. Setting financial goals together. If you’re both working toward the same things, it will bring you closer together. Partnership and marriage go hand in hand. Sharing a vision is an effective way of limiting arguments.

HOW TO FIX IT:

Sit down together and dream big about the future. Then decide how that looks financially. What plans will you have to make? How will you accomplish them? 

Set a deadline and get busy.

Are you taking notes?

Are you getting value from these tips? Subscribe below and let’s head into the next concept which I think will give you an AHA moment.

The fourth common money argument for couples is:

  1. Understanding Income Equity. In most cases, one spouse has a greater salary than the other. Splitting the bills 50:50 might be fair in one context, but it can also create resentment. One option is to pay the bills relative to the salaries. So, if one person is making $100k, and the other is making $50k, the bills would be split 2/3 and 1/3.

HOW TO FIX IT: 

Sit down with your pay stubs or income statements and fully disclose your income status.

  1. Avoid blame.
  2. Avoid judgement.
  3. Avoid pointing fingers.

Once you understand what you both bring in, you can back to common money argument #1 and set up the budget.

The fifth common money argument many married couples argue about is:

  1. Debt & Expenses Equity. 

Just like the concept we just discussed, debt & expenses equity means full disclosure of all debts (even the ones you may be hiding) and full disclosure of all expenses (aka spending).

If one of you has child support payments from a previous relationship or if one of you have large amount of student loan debt, you can both consider making adjustments for this when dealing with the bills. 

Once you know the full picture, you can help each other to get out from under debt.

Partners help each other out. If you want to share in the windfalls, it’s only fair to share with the less agreeable things, too.

The sixth common money argument many married couples argue about is:

  • Agreeing to Disagree. 

We all get stuck in the ARGUMENT HAMSTER WHEEL.

However, we forget to agree to disagree.

There is nothing wrong with telling your partner, I DON’T AGREE.

Disagreements will happen, no matter how good the intentions are. 

It’s important to keep the discussion centered on what actually happened and not pointing fingers and blaming. 

There’s a difference between, “This purchase wasn’t within our budget” and “You ruined our budget.” 

  • When a disagreement happens, find a solution that will prevent it from being repeated.

Minimizing money-related arguments is a great way to strengthen a marriage. 

It’s also a great way to get your finances under control. 

Protect your the emotional and financial health of your marriage with all you have.

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